Alone had always felt like an actual place to me, as if it weren’t a state of being, but rather a room where I could retreat to be who I really was.
Cheryl Strayed, Wild
And the scouring griefs,
don’t look at them all or they’ll kill you, you can barely encompass your own;
I’m saying I know all about you, whoever you are, it’s spring
and it’s starting again, the longing that begins, and begins, and begins.
i can’t help but succumb to those who pine for me… the ones who look at me longingly from afar - who i share a secret with because we both know i will never do anything to allow them to stop wanting me. i feed off of confessions that i am the one they think of while holding another; happy to just be in my presence. and then the lack of guilt and the relief i feel once i’ve broken them, ridden of the responsibility of telling them they mean something, anything to me.
i want to tell you that… i think you have always been trying to escape something
folding your favourite plaid shirt. frank ocean and the dryer, an uneven duet in the background. the doors are wide open and pierre blinks slowly at me, his full length sprawled in the timid vancouver sun that seeps through. remembering the way you stared at me this morning, i blush and have to refold. these days, love is the only drug i need.
And I’ll tell you baby, it was easy
Comin’ back into you once I figured it out
You were right here all along
I want you and I don’t want to be a luxury. I want you to need me. I want you to not be able to concentrate because you’re thinking about me. I want you to reach for your phone because you thought of something you have to share with me. I want you to not even be able to breathe at the thought of never seeing me again, because that’s how I feel about you.
The Submarines - 1940 (Amplive Remix)